Journal 15 : the simpliest thing becomes harder and harder

Some pretty weeks ago, I went to karaoke with some friends. When I got there, I just realized that I need more and more time to think what song I would like to sang. Well, you know, when I was younger than now, going to karaoke bar and sing whatever song that just pop up in my head was easy to do (now I even have to look at my phone to find those songs!). Those songs were there, in the back of my head, ready whenever I wanna sang them, but I don’t know why, even the simpliest thing became pretty hard for me this time.

Okay, I don’t wanna write a lot about song that getting harder to find. That is just a simple example about what’s going on in my life right now. I don’t know, I just feel that I’m pretty messy right now, you know, about decision and all-of-future-stuff. It’s just me or you also feel like me ?

The simple thing becomes hard, the familiar becomes unfamiliar, the thing you love the most becomes something else, there’s more and more happen in my mind (like my head becomes ticking bomb), and I’m feeling uneasy about my own self.

I just don’t wanna turn in the wrong path, you know, about something i have to do, and what I wanna do. Honestly i just can’t bear the feeling of regret. The thing I should do but I shouldn’t …

Well, guess I’m given this in my some times, so I’m pretty sure about it. Funny when you think something more and more, it becomes more complicated.

So, do you wanna sing a song ?

 

Sragen, 28 Agustus 2014

journal 14 : something unexpected are worth to fight

This week was super crazy for me. I got here on tuesday, had a super day with time and limit, nervous about some matters, and then right now i’m on my way home. Well, let’s say, I don’t regret it. I’m excited and after all, I feel alive ! It’s been so long since I’m doing something spontaneus. Every move I make with detail planning. I know I’m a person who like agenda more than anything, but this week proves me that I love something unexpected too. Sometimes, unexpected are worth to fight, because you’ll amaze with the result. Will you try something spontaneus, well, let’s say, going to somewhere like that very second before your life becomes an agenda in front of your happiness?

Depok, 14 Agustus 2014

journal 13 : some things aren’t really my things

Just because I don’t talk to someone, doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna talk to him/her. It’s just me who don’t wanna talk, because clearly talking and having conversation aren’t really my things. Sometimes people don’t understand this and have the wrong concept in their heads. Seriously, why every person in this world have to have chit chat and bla bla bla and have conversation? Let me tell you, in Javanesse culture, they must. Although I’m a Javanesse, trust me, that culture really kills me, slowly. And I’m really wondering why people are busy asking someone’s life : are they really care or it’s just curiousity? Seriously, I think a lot of introvert have the same problem with me. Do you?

Somewhere, 10 Agustus 2014